


whispers

by withoutwords



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: Callum knows about Ben Mitchell the way he knows about unicorns and dragons.His name is like a myth - like a story they tell in Walford to terrify young children. It’s mostly just a joke to Callum, a good laugh on a Friday night when he’s serving pints to the same punters with the same stories - "then he stole old Agnes’ garden gnome, stuck it on a lawnmower and set it loose through the square."
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum ''Halfway'' Highway/Chris Kennedy
Comments: 16
Kudos: 118





	whispers

**Author's Note:**

> AU. 5 times Callum tries to date Ben and fails, and 1 time he doesn't. Sort of. I have no idea where this came from.
> 
> Also, this is set when Ben returned to Walford so he hasn't lost his hearing at this point.

Callum knows about Ben Mitchell the way he knows about unicorns and dragons.

His name is like a myth - like a story they tell in Walford to terrify young children. It’s mostly just a joke to Callum, a good laugh on a Friday night when he’s serving pints to the same punters with the same stories -  _ then he stole old Agnes’ garden gnome, stuck it on a lawnmower and set it loose through the square. _

It’s funny, until Ben Mitchell walks into the Vic and looks at Callum like he hasn’t had a meal in years. 

“This is a face I don’t know,” he says, offering his hand for Callum to shake. He’s sporting an expensive coat and a five o’clock shadow and Callum hasn’t seen a face like that in a very long time.

He’s lovely.

“Our Callum,” Whit tells Ben before Callum gets a chance, Ben putting his hand back down. “Don’t even think about it, Mitchell.”

“I’d never try to steal your man, Whit.”

“I’m gay,” Callum splutters out, cowering at the look Whit throws him. Ben looks like a kid in a candy store, leaning onto the bar and giving Callum a look that’s nothing but seductive.

“ _ Really _ ?”

“That don’t mean you can get your claws in,” Whit warns him, shoving a glass at Ben, the beer slopping over the sides. “Take your pint and go over there.”

Callum watches Ben go and sit down, still grinning to himself. Obviously he’s completely aware what the people around here think of him. Obviously he doesn’t care at all. 

“You,” Whit says, pushing at Callum’s chest with a stern finger. He rubs it sadly. “Just because you haven’t met anyone yet don’t mean you’re falling at Ben Mitchell’s feet. He’ll chew you up and spit you out.”

“I just met him!” Callum protests, but Whit just rolls her eyes at him like she knows him better than he cares to admit.

“Stay away from Ben Mitchell,” she tells him, and Callum can’t help it, he laughs. 

“Okay, mum,” he teases, going back to serve someone at the bar. When he braves a glance at Ben, he sees the other man looking back.

Ben grins, and raises his glass.

*

Callum’s got his own reputation in Walford.

They don’t sit around and complain about him in the pub or anything, but they love to pinch at his cheeks or ruffle his hair and remind him that he’s such a lovely boy, such a sweet lad. Which is nice, he’s lucky he found the Carters and lucky he’s got a life for himself now, away from the family that didn’t want him.

But he’s heard that nice guys finish last, and he’d hate for that to be the hill he dies on.

“Hello?” he calls when he goes into the garage with two coffees in hand, looking for Ben. He’d heard Jay telling Mick that Ben was taking the business over from his dad - something that sounded long term. Sounded promising.

“Hello?”

With a loud scrape, Ben rolls out from under a car, yelling when he sees Callum. “Christ, where’d you come from?”

“Sorry, I just - the door was open.”

Ben gets to his feet, moving closer as he wipes at his hands with a rag. He’s wearing coveralls and there’s a streak of oil across his face, and a filthy grin slowly stretches across his mouth. “That for me?”

“Uh, yeah,” Callum stutters, holding it out for him. “Just a tall black, I didn’t know …”

“Perfect,” he says, taking it, giving Callum a once over. “I do like ‘em tall.”

Callum just huffs and scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck - him and his ex, Chris, had broken up so long ago that Callum had almost forgotten what it was like to be flirted with. “So, uh, you’re staying in town then?”

Ben shrugs, going back to the car to throw his rag down. Callum follows. “Guess so. My daughter lives here, my best mate’s here. Good a place as any.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Yep. Back when I was trying to convince myself I was straight.”

“Right,” Callum says with an awkward smile, “Whereas I joined the army.”

Ben almost spits out his coffee. “The Army? That’s almost as gay as joining the Navy, mate.”

“Yeah, I figured that out eventually.”

Ben just shakes his head, putting his coffee down so he can go and tinker at the car’s engine. Callum indulges in the view for a moment, in the expanse of his back and the tight curve of his arse. It’s a nice sight.

“Uh, so I was wondering if you’d wanna go and get a drink sometime?” he hears himself ask, the nerves making it come out a decibel too loud.

Ben looks over to him and smirks, before returning to his work. “Best not, mate.”

“Oh.”

“You’re a good looking bloke, and I’m sure we’d have fun but … from what I hear, I ain’t exactly your type.”

“What did you hear?”

“That you’re a nice guy,” Ben says, making Callum tense up. “The commitment sort, that deserves princes and happy endings. That sort of thing. And trust me, mate, that ain’t me.”

Callum’s not really sure how to respond to that. He dreads to think how many people have been in Ben’s ear about him. It’s humiliating. “It’s funny,” he finally says, getting Ben’s attention. “All I’ve heard about you, I would have thought you’d be doing the opposite of what people told you.”

Ben just gives him a smile and a shrug and Callum takes it as his invitation to leave. He’s a nice guy.

He goes.

*

It’s a small town, so Callum runs into Ben Mitchell a lot. 

At the cafe getting breakfast, at the pub having pints with Jay, at the grocery store buying bread and milk (and trying to convince his daughter that she really didn’t want that sort of cereal for her breakfast because it would rot her teeth). Despite the legend, the man himself seems pretty straight forward. A bit of a twat, and a trouble maker, but that just gives him character.

Callum’s got a little crush. He’s had crushes before, it’s fine. He either waits it out or faces it, and since no one is letting him within five feet of Ben he’ll just have to give it time.

“You need to go out more, is your problem,” Lola tells him when they get together for drinks. Even the mother of Ben’s baby wants Callum to stay far away from him.

“So now I’m a sad loner, cheers Lo.”

“Those aint the words I used,” Lola says, but then shrugs like he’s got a point. He finds it hard to be all that mad at her, because truth be told she’s not wrong. He’s been pulling double shifts at the Vic, trying to save for the course he wants to take next year - and between that and helping Tina at The Albert some nights he’s just too tired to function let alone go on the pull.

“I don’t see what the problem is,” he whines into his glass. “It’ll just be one date. I might hate it.”

Lola scoffs. “Or you’d get attached, and he’d claw your heart out, and I’d have you on me sofa crying like a teeny weeny baby.”

“You’re drunk.”

Lola shrugs. Right again.

“Date night, is it?” someone says, and they both turn to look up and see Ben hovering over them. Callum almost slops his drink all over himself, not prepared for the sight of him. Done up and divine as usual. 

“Hi.”

Ben smirks at him. “Evening. You two having fun?”

“Oh yeah, Callum’s a barrel of laughs,” Lola teases, giving Ben a toothy grin that makes him frown with confusion. 

“You should join us,” Callum says, moving a little to motion to the spot next to him. “We could have a drink together.”

“Uh, sorry.” Ben throws a look at the bar. “I’m sort of here with someone. I just thought I’d come and say hi.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’ll see you around,” Ben says with one of those little smiles that Callum feels to his toes, going back to his date. Callum groans and bangs his head on the table.

“That was hard to watch,” Lola says.

*   
  


Callum learns more about the real Ben Mitchell when he’s doing a shift at The Albert.

It’s a busy night, wall to wall with men and the lines for drinks almost out the door. Callum is so preoccupied he doesn’t even see Ben come in, doesn’t even know he’s there until he hears Tina say something about,  _ bloody Mitchells,  _ as she stomps her way to the back of the bar.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing a cocktail to someone and pointing at someone else to shout out their order.

“Ben Mitchell. Greg reckons he’s over there having one of his dodgy meetings.  _ In our bar _ .”

“Dodgy meeting?”

“Yes, Callum.  _ Dodgy _ . Why’d you think everyone’s protecting you from him? He ain’t Captain Bloody America.”

Callum gets on with his orders, still trying to get a glimpse of Ben. He thinks he spots the back of his head at one of their corner tables, but he’s so overrun with customers that he hasn’t got time to dwell on it. When one of the other bartenders, Hailey, pops in to send him on a break, Callum can’t help but go over there.

He takes a beer with him.

“Excuse me,” he says, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder and leaning down to give him the drink. “Someone by the bar wanted to give this to you.”

Ben turns to look at Callum, unruffled as usual but not buying it. “Oh, yeah? He give you a name?”

“Afraid not.” Callum glances at the other two men at the table, who are watching him with vague interest. “But he said you could meet him on the dancefloor at 11. When you’re done with your … friends.”

Ben’s gaze flitters across Callum’s face, biting on his bottom lip. “Alright. Thanks.”

Callum goes back to work, the crazy run of customers pushing him through until his shift is almost over. He tries not to think about where Ben is, or what he’s doing, or if he’s already disappeared and left Callum high and dry. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

When he finishes up, he quickly downs a shot to take the edge off and heads over to the dancefloor. Ben’s not there, and he’s not at his table, and Callum’s a moment away from getting out of there when he turns and comes face to face with him. He looks flushed, a little glassy eyed. He grins.

“Where’s my secret admirer?”

“I didn’t think it was that secret,” Callum says, stepping in closer and grabbing Ben by the hip. Ben actually looks surprised, but he follows suit, tracking a hand over Callum’s waist and to the small of his back.

They move slowly, circling, pressed so close Callum’s sure Ben can feel the crazy beating of his heart.

“I thought maybe you were playing undercover cop. Trying to work out what me and my friends were talking about.”

Callum huffs. “Tina wanted to know. I don’t care.”

“Oh, really? You’re just gonna look the other way? Pretend nothing happened.”

“As far as I know nothing did happen. You were talking to some mates.”

“Yeah, we were having a great old chat.”

“I’m glad.”

Ben looks at Callum like he’s the simplest person on earth, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the exit. They elbow their way through the crowds, and into the cool air of the night, and around a secluded corner where Ben nudges him into a wall. “Now I get why they call you Halfway,” he says, but it’s not mean.

“Ben - ”

“This ain’t for you, Callum, just walk away alright, just - ”

Callum quiets him with a kiss, grabbing Ben’s face in his hands and bringing their mouths together soft and slow and sweet. Ben makes little huffing sounds into it, grabbing at Callum’s shirt and opening his mouth to accept.

It stretches out so long Callum thinks he’s in with a chance, until Ben’s pushing him back and pulling away.

“We can’t, alright? We can’t.”

*

Callum hasn’t thought much about having kids. Not properly.

Chris used to talk about it sometimes, before his big promotion came up, before they both realised that they weren’t ready to settle down like that, make that sort of commitment. It hadn’t been a terrible idea - the thought of being happy in a small house with one or two children. The thought of ever after.

His reputation wasn’t all wrong. Callum could be sentimental.

“Just for the afternoon, four hours tops?” Lola’s begging Callum, her hand over her phone to block the noise. “I really need the money, and I haven’t been getting shifts. Please, Callum? Please?”

“Alright, alright,” he says, waving her off, not able to listen to her beg any more. He didn’t need to get to the Vic until 6, which gave him plenty of time to help look after Lexi.

“She doesn’t really know me though,” Callum says when Lola gets off the phone, throwing glances at Lexi who’s singing to herself and playing with her dolls.

“She loves everyone, don’t worry.”

When Lola goes, Lexi barely blinks an eye. Apparently she’s used to being left with people other than her mum and dad, because straight away she asks for a sandwich and juice and demand that Callum wear the princess crown while they have a picnic.

It’s where Ben finds them an hour or so later, on a rug on the lounge room floor, Lexi trying to teach Callum the words to  _ Let It Go.  _ Lexi cheers at the sight of him, rushing over to leap into his arms. 

_ “ _ I was just helping Lola out,” Callum says, jumping to his feet like he’s guilty of something. Ben smirks at the crown still on his head and Callum quickly rips it off.

“I know, she told me. I managed to finish up early.”

“Can we go to the park, Daddy?” Lexi asks, kicking her legs excitedly.

“Sure, princess. Go get your coat.”

“Will you come too, Callum?I still have to teach you the song.”

“Oh, uh,” Callum starts to say, looking at Ben for whatever the right answer is to that question. Ben just shrugs. “Sure. I’ll come to the park.”

Lexi cheers again, and the three of them get their coats and boots on to head out. Lexi takes up all the conversation on the way there, telling Ben about what her and Callum had been doing, telling Callum about her friends at school. It’s not until they get to the park and Lexi finds another kid to play with, that Callum and Ben sit down together.

“Seems like everyone in my family has a spot for Callum Highway,” Ben says quietly, making Callum blush.

“Everyone but you.”

Ben gives him a look, dark and heavy-lidded. “I never said I didn’t. I said I  _ couldn’t _ .”

“Why? What are they all gonna do? Talk bad about you? ‘Cause they’re already doing that,” Callum tells him bitterly. “I thought you knew.”

“It’s not about them. It’s about you.”

“Me? You don’t even know me. You won’t let yourself.”

“I know about you.”

“So? I know about you too, but I’m still willing to give it a chance.”

Ben sighs, exasperated. Callum would be amused if he wasn’t already eaten up by all his other feelings. Anger, irritation, defeat. “You don’t know about me at all. You think I afford the best school for my daughter by fixing cars? You think we managed to live abroad on an honest wage? You think every person who’s ever told you I’d just hurt you is lying?” 

“I don’t care!” Callum protests, and it comes out louder than he means it too. “So we go on one date, or two, and we mess it up and it doesn’t work, so what? We tried.”

“I don’t want to try,” Ben says, and his jaws in a firm line now, he’s cutting himself off. “I don’t want you to be hanging around, being pathetic, not accepting it when I tell you I’m not interested. I don’t want you.”

Callum feels the fury rising in his chest, getting up off the bench to leave. He turns, and spits out, “I’’ll add  _ liar _ to the list of reasons I shouldn’t date you then,” and finally walks away.

*

Life goes back to normal.

Callum keeps busy with work as usual, flitting between the pub and The Albert, and tucking away his savings. He lets Whitney set him up with a guy she met at a party, Luke, and they go on a few nice dates but, it’s. Lacking.

Things are civil with Ben. They say hello, and how are you, and Callum pretends that a little part inside of him doesn’t flutter every time he’s just nearby.

“You work a lot,” Ben says one day, after being at the pub in the afternoon and then coming into the club later that night.

“Yeah, I’m saving for school,” Callum tells him, “I’m gonna do a Social Work course next year.”

“Wow,” Ben says, seeming genuinely impressed. “That’s great, Cal. You’d be great at that.”

Callum smiles. “Thank you.”

The square is mostly normal, too. They have an Autumn festival to welcome the new season, that’s mostly a disaster in the end. Food ruined, and people fighting, and an eight foot paper-mache turkey that the school kids made almost takes out a crowd of people.

They laugh about it later.

“I don’t think I’ll look at Christmas dinner the same, ever again,” Callum jokes to Ben as he serves him a pint, enjoying the sound of his laughter.

“I took my hearing aid out and ignored it,” Ben says with a shrug and a cheeky grin.

“I didn’t know you had a hearing aid.”

“Yeah, lost some hearing in this ear when I was a baby,” he explains, pointing to it. “I mostly hear fine but if I try hard enough I can block everything out.”

Callum shakes his head. “Lucky then, hey?”

When Christmas gets closer, Callum goes into town with the girls and manages to get all his shopping done in one hit. The Carters do the house up, and include them in their tree decorating and baking, and it’s one of the best holiday seasons he thinks he’s ever had. He didn’t get a lot of the joyful times as a kid.

“You got any family you’re seeing?” Ben asks him when Callum’s at Lola’s for an early celebration. Callum shakes his head.

“I mean, I’ll spend it with the Carters. They’re the closest thing to family I’ve got.”

Ben’s look is soft and understanding, the corner of his mouth allowing a gentle smile. “Right. Family’s what you make it, yeah?”

“Exactly. And I’ve made a lot.”

“You have.”

It’s a great New Year’s. The Square is done up with lights and decorations, the tree standing tall and beautiful in the centre. Music blasts to every corner of town, and Callum gets a little tipsy and lets himself enjoy it. The hoards of people separate as the countdown gets closer, waiting eagerly for the fireworks to erupt.

Callum catches sight of Ben, standing on his own at the edge of the crowd, and he goes to stand next to him.

“Any resolutions?” he asks as they stand shoulder to shoulder. Ben doesn’t look at Callum but he’s smiling.

“Not really my thing. You?”

“No, I don’t think so. Except maybe,” he starts to say, interrupted by the start of the countdown.  _ 10, 9, 8, _

“What?” Ben asks, turning in closer.  _ 7, 6, 5, _

“I have to stop letting people tell me what’s good for me,” he says quietly, turning in more himself and not letting their gaze break.  _ 4, 3, 2, _

“Callum,” _1._

When the crowd shouts Happy New Year, Callum leans down to give Ben a soft, chaste kiss, his eyes fluttering closed so he can savour the moment. Ben clutches at his collar and Callum grasps at Ben’s shoulders, and he’s not sure how long they stand like that, kissing.

It’s like a dream. Callum can’t feel his feet touch the ground.

“You wanna grab a drink some time?” he asks with a smile, and Ben laughs.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> thefancyspin.tumblr.com


End file.
